Sorte
by TasteOfFic
Summary: The title of this fanfic means "fate" in Italian. Imagine if just one of the series of events after Bella jumped off the cliff in La Push were different. What if some of the things that happened in the series had differe consequences.
1. Preface

Sorte

~ Preface ~

Each moment in time, each reaction to circumstance, leads us to our present. Each choice, every decision, is so fragile, that if there were just one change, in a chain of events…the outcome might have been different.

When I woke on Jakes couch that evening after I'd almost drowned, I laid there thinking about what I'd just done. If Jakes timing would have been off and he'd not reached me when he did…I'd be dead, and for what? I was still here, the pain hadn't gone away, in fact this time instead of healing me in some small way, I actually felt worse. I had scared Jacob half to death, and as I lay there I imagined Sue Clearwater and Seth and Leah receiving the news that that Harry was gone. I cringed at the thought of Charlie getting that same news about me. I told myself this had to end.

I was quiet as Jake drove me home. I stared out of the passenger window, and for the first time since I had moved to Forks, I thought about leaving, going to Jacksonville to finish up my senior year. I thought about the warmth and how alien it would be to me now, about being with my mother again…she was enough to keep me preoccupied that maybe there wouldn't be time to miss all of the reasons I'd come to like living in Forks. I pictured myself boarding the plane and not looking back. I almost had myself convinced when Jake reached over and grabbed my hand. I looked over at him and instantly knew that I was fooling myself. I wouldn't be able to not miss him. His face, his laugh, and the way being around him brought a new part of me to life that acted as a bandage for the part of me that was broken. And Charlie, I'd worry about him non stop, now that I knew how bad his inability to cook for himself and keep order in a house was, especially since he'd grown used to me taking care of those things. No, it was a thought I'd gotten lost in but it would never be a reality I could walk in. Forks was my home now, I couldn't run away, and the truth was that there wasn't a place on earth that existed that could make me forget about Edward.

I would never be the same again, I knew it from the moment he was gone, I'd always be somewhat damaged and incomplete. However I realized that I needed to say goodbye to that part of my life, the loss and pain had been holding me prisoner, but I wasn't sure if I could. There was no way for things to ever go back to normal; all of the paths of my past lead me to Edward and those months where I had been so happy. It was also impossible to forget. This person had come into my life and left a mark on me so deep, each touch, every smile, and the moments in between would never be erased from my memory.

We were just a few feet from my house when a blur near the tree row across from my mailbox caught my eye. I tried to focus my eyes and look again but there was nothing. Chills ran down spine as I recalled the flash of red in the water after my jump. She was out there, waiting for the opportunity. Jake pulled my truck in front of my house.

"We won't be far, we'll have the house under close watch" Jake pulled me in and hugged me tight.

"Just be careful" I couldn't even think of something happening to any of them because of me.

"We know what we're doing, you worry way too much…give us a little bit of credit Bella. Get some rest, you took a pretty bad beating in that water today" he shook his head half amused half irritated " No more cliff diving"

"No more cliff diving" I repeated, now I was half amused, just hearing the words cliff diving…what was I thinking?

When I woke up the next morning it was a new kind of sadness that I felt, it was a feeling of something ending. It hit me; finally after all of these months it was clearer than it ever had been…I would never see him…see any of them ever again. I'd known it since the words left his mouth that he no longer wanted me, but today it was more… real. There was something that I'd been holding onto all of this time that had kept the full reality from setting in, and just like the pieces of my heart I'd never get back, it too was now gone…hope.

I had done everything to hold onto the parts of him that I could, including nearly killing myself, and nothing had changed. The hole in my chest, the pain, the emptiness, all still remained.

I got up and got dressed for Harry Clearwater's funeral. After the service I told Charlie I'd meet him at the Clearwater's where everyone was gathering, and then headed towards the beach. I once again climbed the trail to that cliff and I stared out into the beautiful water. The wind picked up as I began to sob. The words themselves didn't need to be spoken out loud; each tear that streamed down my face was a silent goodbye. It was done, over, it didn't matter that it was so different then what I had dreamt of months ago, this was my life now. Maybe the pain and wanting would never go away, but it wouldn't change anything, he still wouldn't want me, he'd still be gone. The Cullen's would only ever exist in my memories, not in my future.

My tears began to dry, my breathing calmed, and I had reached resolve. My heart and my head had been entangled in a battle for months. My heart wanting to hold on, my head knowing it was time to let go. It wasn't that my heart had lost the battle, it was merely conceding: to crippled to continue to fight, and allowing me to see things a bit more clearly.

I turned to walk back to my truck, but something made me turn and glance back at the crashing waves; "This will be the last time you'll ever see me" His words and his voice filled my head as if he were standing right in front of me. All I could do was whisper "I know"


	2. Chapter 1 Surprise Bella POV

Sorte

~ Chapter 1 ~

Surprise

Bella's P.O.V.

The last few days had been filled with more happiness than I'd felt in a long time. I was spending most of my time in La Push. Being around my new friends made me feel as if there was some sort of blanket of warmth and comfort surrounding me.

I was growing quite close to Emily; it was nice to have a female, who was also in on the secret of my mythical world. She was so different from my girl friends at school and she never worried over me or treated me like I was some fragile flower, like my dad and Jake did. To her I was just Bella, boring, awkward, and clumsy Bella. My life was no stranger than hers, since she too was in on the secrets that Fork's had.

She was really good at reading people. She never asked me about Edward or questioned me about dating, she steered clear of ever letting the conversation head in that direction. Only once she made mention of the scar on my arm. The mark I would always bare to remind me of my time with him, the mark that would always remind her and the pack that I had once entangled my life with their sworn enemies. When she noticed I had caught her staring at it, she simply said "Not all of the wounds love can leave are worn on the heart" It was something we had in common, we both had been altered physically by love. It was easy to see why Sam loved her. Even without the imprinting quirk of the wolves, I found it hard to believe that Sam could resist loving her. The love they felt for each other radiated from both of them when they touched and kissed. Watching them together reminded me that I had felt a love as great as theirs once. A love so intense I would've abandoned my mortal life to spend forever in _his_ embrace.

I'd grown close to the whole pack, Paul, Embry, Jared, and Quil, were all becoming like brothers to me. I'd even started looking forward to all of their wrestling and rough housing with each other. Then there was Jake. He was so important to my life now. If it was possible to need a single person too much, that's how much I needed Jacob in my life. The love I felt for him wasn't the same kind of love that I'd felt for Edward. I've questioned whether or not I'll ever be able to love anyone in that way again. The way I needed Jacob was completely unhealthy, it was dependency. I also felt it was unfair to him. He'd been clear about his feelings for me, and he knew that I might not ever be able to return those feelings. Our relationship still felt lop sided to me…I was getting much more than possibly I was ever going to be able to give. He'd promised he'd never leave me, and I knew he wanted keep his word, but part of me was still cautious. People, real and mythical, were capable of inflicting pain, a pain so great it alters you, even if they didn't intend to.

The pack had been running patrols for the past week. There hadn't been any trace of Victoria anywhere near Forks or La Push since I'd jumped off the cliff at the beach eight days ago. Part of me wanted to believe that she had somehow realized the Cullen's were no longer in Forks, that I was no longer a concern of Edward's, and that killing me wouldn't quench her thirst for revenge. But I knew too well that she would always be a threat and would likely never give up trying to kill me.

It was Saturday and it was the most beautiful evening, warm for this time of year. So warm, that I had opened all of the windows in the house before heading to the reservation for dinner. I was helping Emily finish up with the dishes from the massive dinner she had cooked for us and the pack. Jake and Quil were in front of the TV, Sam and Embry were running their shift of patrols. Paul was rifling through the refrigerator. I had to laugh to myself

"Like a garbage disposal" I mumbled.

"Hey, I heard that" As I turned to look Paul was flexing his muscles like a professional body builder "It takes a lot to sustain this beast" he said in a cocky tone as he kissed his bicep.

"The beast can take out the trash…..and the Kitchen's closed" Emily's tone was playful and motherly as she tossed the tied up garbage bag at him. He didn't object.

"What? Man, women!" he pouted as he headed for the door.

The dishes were nearly done when I jumped, startled by the door swinging shut. It was Embry back from his patrols.

"You okay" Emily asked.

"Um…yeah" I'd been feeling a little off, all day.

"I haven't been sleeping well, I'll be fine" It was the truth, I hadn't been sleeping well. Sleeping had been difficult for me the past few months, the nightmare always made it hard to get back to sleep. But my nightmare had changed, it'd grown darker. It started the same as always, me running and searching and panicking, but instead of finding nothing, I would end up in the woods with Edward and Jacob both of them glaring at one another. Each had a hand outstretched reaching for me, but before I could react they'd both start walking side by side through the woods. I'd take off after them but in my dream it felt like I was running in slow motion, I couldn't keep up. I'd just keep running in the direction they went until I came to the meadow. It was always dark barely lit by the moon above, then as my eyes adjusted I could see them all, every member of the pack and every Cullen family member lying lifeless, scattered about the meadow. The horrific sight and my screaming would always wake me.

"Sam's making one more round, he's waiting for you guys" I heard Embry telling Jake, Quil, and Paul.

"Hey Bells, if you're ready I'll drive you home?" Jacob asked

"Sure. Thanks for dinner Emily….uh, g'bye guys" I threw the dish towel on the counter and hugged Emily.

We climbed into my truck and headed towards my house.

"You alright, Bella, You seem kinda distracted?" He glanced from the road to me.

"I'm fine, probably just tired." I didn't have a better answer than that, I didn't know what it was, something was just…off.

He placed his hand on knee, "You know we won't let her hurt you, right?" I knew who he was talking about, and while I was always worried about not, if, but when the day would come, that she'd find a way to get to me, that wasn't what had me uneasy. It was better to let him think that the killer lurking out there somewhere hunting me, was the cause since I couldn't pin point the real reason myself.

"I know" I forced a smile so he wouldn't worry.

He pulled my truck up in front of my house; it was patrol night for Jake so he wouldn't be coming inside.

"You sure everything's okay?" The truck was still idling. "If something's on your mind I can stay if you don't wanna be alone, one the other guy's can handle things tonight."

It would've been easy to take advantage of his willingness to do anything for me; I knew he'd stay if I asked him too, but I already took up most of his time, I didn't want to end up being a burden to him. I had some things I needed to do that would make tonight less painful to be alone.

"No, S'okay, I have some things I need to take care of, emails to return and laundry, pretty boring, I wouldn't want to torture ya." He turned the truck key and silenced the engine. I stepped out and heard him start to take off down the road. I started to walk to my door, but turned around quickly.

"Jake!" I yelled as I ran towards him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he hugged me back.

"Be careful tonight" I pleaded. He pulled away slightly and looked me in the eyes.

"I made you a promise, I'm not going anywhere; I'll see you tomorrow. Geesh Bella, stop worrying so much, it'll give ya wrinkles…I can't be hanging out with someone who looks like a grandma" He flashed his white smile and couldn't help but smile back. I released him and again he headed off.

I stepped through the front door and fumbled around to turn the lamp on. Charlie wasn't home yet, he was at the Clearwater's helping finish up a barn that Harry was building before his heart attack. The idea was to stay busy tonight, and I wasn't lying when I told Jake I had things to do. With most of my time being spent at La Push, it'd been several days since I'd done any laundry and I knew there would be half a dozen emails in my inbox from Rene that I needed to reply to. I walked into the kitchen and decided to do up the small pile of dishes Charlie had left in the sink from lunch. With the kitchen clean I put the first load of whites in the washer and needed to get my dirty clothes basket from my room. As I walked into the living room to head upstairs Charlie walked through the door.

"Hey honey, how was dinner at Emily's?" He was clearly trying to act interested but I could tell he was exhausted.

"It was great dad, why don't you let me fix you something to eat?"

"No, don't worry about it, Sue fixed us some sandwiches, don't let me interrupt whatever you were doing" He plopped down in his chair and turned on the TV.

"Right, separating lights from the darks, pretty intense stuff" I joked. I tried to erase any trace of the anxiousness I was feeling. I was the last thing he needed to worry about tonight.

I headed up the stairs with the laundry basket propped on my hip; I flipped on the hall light and walked into my dark room. I partially closed the door behind me so I could pick up a pair of jeans that were behind the door. I put the jeans in the laundry basket and turned around at the same time the light on my night stand flipped on, and I heard my name.

"Bella"


	3. Chapter 1 Surprise Edward POV

Sorte

~ Chapter 1 ~

Surprise

Edward P.O.V.

I'd come so close to death, they would have killed me if I had been able to go through with my plan; my suicide. If not for Carlisle's ties to them, they would not have gone to the extremes in which they did, to spare my life.

"Ah, Edward, it's so good to see you again my friend." He was a disgustingly arrogant creature with no regard for human life.

"Have you come to a decision? I wouldn't make such a request if I didn't feel that I couldn't exist in this world any longer." I tried to sound polite.

"Yes…yes, young Edward. We have considered your request and unfortunately we are not inclined to help you out. We are bound by the laws of our kind you see, and as you have done nothing to warrant any harm or punishment of death, we can only offer you a new life, here with us. This Bella…this human you feel so strongly for, she's a mortal. Certainly not worth letting such a talented creature as yourself go to waste.

"Very well." The burn of anger flowed strongly through me. If they would not grant me this simple request, I would force them to end me. But as I turned to walk away pain coursed through my body. I lunged forward to my knees, I knew exactly what was happening, Jane.

"I spoke with my dear friend Carlisle today" Aro's arrogance was thick "He's very worried about you my dear boy" I was writhing in pain and unable to respond.

"Demitri, Felix, show our young friend to a guest chamber." The pain ceased though trying to escape would have been futile. I was no match for Felix's strength, Demitri would track me wherever I went in the city, and those were just the obstacles I faced, if by chance I was able to evade beyond the reach of Jane's relentless power. There was no way to resist I was out numbered in strength and power.

I sat in the room they took me to and watched the sun begin to set. As the horizon turned from orange to black I realized that this is what it would be like to live with out her on this earth. I had seen hundreds of days and nights, but I was seeing them with new eyes, now that she was gone. The emptiness, pain, and regret would be my punishment for eternity, as all of my efforts to keep her safe had been in vain. So many times I had been tempted to return to Fork's beg her for her forgiveness and plead for her to take me back. Now it was too late.

I sat in the room and watched the sun set seven times. I couldn't gather from any of their thoughts what they planed to do with me; they all had their own opinion on what should be done. I stopped listening after the first few days. It was horrible to hear the lust for their pray. Man, woman, child, it made no difference to any of them. In their eyes humans existed simply to sustain them.

The door to my room swung open and there stood my father. I was too ashamed to look in his eyes. It was painful enough to hear the sorrow in his mind.

"Edward!"

The relief in his tone as he said my name made me think of Esme, and immediately I felt even more ashamed. I knew the grief and despair I had put Carlisle, Esme and my brothers and sisters through, I had failed them all, including her; most of all her.

"I'm sorry, for putting you and Esme through this, but…I can't…I…I just can't go on now that she's gone" I hated to say it out loud, my intentions were not to hurt my family, but I had no desire to exist in this world if Bella was not in it.

"Son…son listen to me. Bella is alive, she's alive and fine" I listened for any trace of a lie in his thoughts, I heard none but I knew it was impossible for the words he spoke to be true.

"No…Rosalie said….Alice saw her jump…Alice never saw her come out of the water…." Did they think they could fool me, that they could claim it never happened?

"It's true…everything Alice saw happened, Bella's fate disappeared she never saw her come out of the water. Alice decided to return to Fork's to make sure that Charlie was okay, but before she got to town she seen Bella in a vision, she saw her boarding an airplane, and she seen her with her mother, Alice lost her again though. When she arrived in Fork's she was able to get a glimpse of Bella pulling up to her house, she kept a far distance so that she wouldn't be seen. You have to believe me son…she is alive."

It was hard to process what he was saying; there were so many unanswered questions.

"If you can't believe him, listen to me." Alice shyly stepped through the doorway. "I'm sorry Edward, I was wrong. Bella is alive. She keeps disappearing and then reappearing, I'm not sure why." She stared down at the floor; I heard her thoughts of guilt, she felt this was her fault.

I needed to get out of this room, get out of Italy, and back to Fork's. If she was alive I had to see it for myself. Carlisle turned away, it was obvious I was missing something. Over the years I'd become exceptionally good at not listening in on the thoughts of my family. I was thankful for my restraint when I decided to make my request of the Volturi. I didn't want to have to hear the sorrow in their thoughts over what I was trying to do. It was because of this that they had been able to stop me, and this courtesy I extended to them had also left me in the dark upon their arrival here today. But I listened now and I heard the words they'd exchanged with Aro and the others, the negotiation and promises that were made in exchange for my freedom.

"_I obliged you once Carlisle, but you see it would be so easy for him to provoke us into fulfilling his request once he's far enough way. Taking his life as punishment is not the only thing to consider. He puts our kind in danger with his reckless intentions."_

"_Aro, brother, Release him to us. This was a misunderstanding. Give me a chance to speak with him and I assure you your concerns will be dissolved."_

"_Ah, yes the human, Bella. Carlisle you know that it is forbidden for humans to be aware of our existence? This mortal girl will have to be dealt with. There is no intent by any of you to change and therefore she is a liability to your family and to us. She must be extinguished. _

" _Aro, Bella will be like us…I've seen it, see for yourself."_

"_Mmm, Alice, your remarkable gift to see that which has not happened, you would be a welcome addition to our family…I see, I see, Bella will be a remarkable immortal… Alice I don't suppose I could persuade you to stay here with us?_

"_Thank you Aro, but I'll have to decline"_

"_Very well, with your plans to change the girl, the circumstances a different. Edward will be released to you, he is free to go._

"_Aro, thank you for the mercy you have shown my son."_

"_Carlisle…his release comes with certain conditions. Should we be made to look foolish for extending these pardons, your entire family will be held responsible and suffer the punishment. We'll make sure you keep your word and what Alice has foreseen comes true, the girl is to be changed and the law regarding the secrecy of our existence is to be kept."_

"_It's agreed and understood"_

"You have to understand they would not have let you leave" He said with his head still turned away.

"How could you? How could make those promises, risk everyone? He knew very well I would never do anything to put my family in danger, an thus no matter what happened when I returned to Fork's, provoking the Volturi into punishing me by death, was no longer an option.

When we arrived back in Fork's, Esme scolded me for even contemplating putting myself in harms way, and while Rosalie tried to apologize, I didn't want to hear it. The only thing I wanted to do was to see her. It sounded so simple, but I still remembered the look in her eyes after I said what I did to her that day. The last time Alice had been able to see Bella, was days ago, again on a cliff and crying. It didn't matter, I had to see her for myself, speak to her and tell her how much of a fool I'd been for leaving her.

I stood outside her window which was open. Vampires aren't accustomed to feeling fear, but I wasn't sure what my return to Fork's would mean to her. It had been so long, had she moved on, would her hatred for me make it impossible for me to be in her life? I crept in through the open window. The light was off in the room, but I knew she was in the house and alone. I decided I would face my fears and go downstairs to speak with her, but then I heard Charlie. I walked back over to the bed and sat down to wait for her. Finally I could hear her coming up the stairs. The hallway light flicked on and as she came through the doorway, I didn't know what to say or do. A thousand times I had tried to forget her face, her smell, the sound of her beating heart, the emotion that flooded through me took me off guard and I could only manage one word as I flicked on the nightstand lamp.

"Bella"


	4. Chapter 2 Fist Sight Bell POV

Chapter 2

First Sight

Bella P.O.V.

I heard my name, and startled, I spun around my back slamming the door shut. I stared across the room in disbelief. I couldn't do anything…I wanted to scream…this had to be some cruel nightmare. My ears were filled with banging and rattling, I grasped the doorknob I was using to brace myself, tighter, so tight it seemed as if it might crush beneath my grip. I could feel a pulling sensation from inside body, like hundreds of invisible arms reaching forward for what they desired. And then there was something equally strong, something I had felt before, but never so strong. My instincts were screaming danger. It was overwhelming, it was more than something from within telling me to be afraid; it was if I could smell it, hear it, and taste it. It filled my head, had alerted every nerve, self preservation…defend…protect. His face was more glorious than my normal hallucinations and his scent was so strong I could taste it in the back of my throat; it filled every inch of space around me. I felt the wetness on my cheeks and a stabbing pain in my back. I was shaking so hard against the door that my back was taking a beating. I clung to the door knob even tighter, and then I felt the laundry basket that I was clinging to with one hand and still perched on my hip, slip through my grip. As it fell to the floor, everything started to fade. I heard my name again….Bella!....Bella!...Get away from her!!! Bella! Honey! Then there was nothing.

I opened my eyes to bright lights, a faint bleeping noise, and the smell of sterilization pads. I looked around and knew I was in the hospital. My eyes searched for Charlie, but he was nowhere. I tried to wrap my mind around what had just happened. My visions of Edward had always been in my dreams or reserved for when I took part in reckless behavior. Laundry didn't quite classify as reckless and I knew I wasn't asleep. The intense pull of the invisible arms wasn't as strong now, but again my instincts had me on alert. It was so unnatural, I could hear things I'd never paid attention to before. The hum of the air coming through the vents in my room and the clicks of the footsteps on the hospital floor of the people walking outside my door; something wasn't right. It was hard to form clear thoughts, but finally there it was, so obvious, the only possible explanation. Horror flooded over me… I was going crazy. Not the type of crazy you joke about, the certifiable kind. Charlie was probably off signing the papers to have me committed at this very moment.

I sat up as the door to my hospital room opened. I expected to see Charlie, but instead the figure was pale and blonde, it was Carlisle. He was so beautiful, so real looking, but surely this was just another hallucination. He walked closer to me, with caution in his eyes. Tears began streaming down my face as I stared back at him, and then he spoke.

"Bella, are you okay?" His voice was more perfect than I remembered.

I reached my hand out slowly to touch his face, I knew he couldn't really be here, standing right in front of me, talking to me, and that this hallucination would surely disappear at any minute, but I couldn't resist. I reached my hand out further and when my touch met his stone cold cheek he placed his hand on top of mine. It was a familiar coolness beneath my hand, reminding of a family that I had once considered my own, but it was lie, this wasn't real, just more proof that I had lost my mind. I lowered my head and my tears came faster.

"Bella…"

I raised my head to look at him again. The months of pain and loss I'd gone through since they left town, had taken its toll on me. Part of me relished in that pain as it was the only thing that let me know they had existed, that they hadn't been just a dream. The proof was right in front of me that I'd pushed myself to the limit, most of my heart and soul were already gone, ripped from me that day in the woods when he told me he didn't want me, and now my sanity was gone too.

"I'm crazy… you're not here" It's all I could manage through the tears. It wasn't a question or a statement, it was the white flag being waved, I was conceding I didn't feel as if I had it in me to fight my way back to reality.

"Get your hands off her! Get away from her!" I jumped as Charlie yelled busting into the room.

"Char…" Carlisle didn't get the chance to finish the word

"I said get away from her; you have no idea what your family has done. I won't let you hurt her again, get out!"

I collapsed back into the hospital bed and curled my knees to my chest, I wasn't even sure if the exchange between them was real, I wasn't sure of anything anymore.

"Bella, honey, talk to me, are you okay, what can I do?" Charlie tried to comfort me.

My back was to him. I didn't think he'd need confirmation of what was happening. I rolled over and faced him, the tears still pouring from my eyes.

"I'm crazy"

"No, honey, you're not…you're not crazy, why would you think that?"

"I saw him dad, in my room….and Carlisle too right here in this room, and it…it just can't be."

"Bella, you're not crazy…they are back…you're not crazy" as he said the words his tone changed from concern to anger.

The words echoed in my ears. They're back. So many things began to run through my mind. When? For how long? Why? And the answer was so clear. Surely Alice had seen Victoria's plot to kill me. They had returned to take care of her. They would never let a Vampire terrorize Forks and kill innocent people because of something they had done to provoke her. Not to mention that keeping a low profile was a necessity to the secrecy of their existence, the longer a vampire like Victoria stayed in town, the bigger the risk of suspicion being raised. He'd returned out of obligation, a duty. My life was no more important to them, than Jessica's or Mike's.

My chest began to burn…I felt sick. The magnetic pull and instinct to protect myself were too much; I was worried I might pass out again. I'd never thought about what could be worse than him telling me he didn't want me anymore and all of them leaving, seeming to vanish altogether. I never wondered in all the months since they'd left if it was possible to hurt more than I already did.

Losing them once was awful. I felt my heart racing and the panic setting in. I'd just gotten a taste of how it feels to think you've lost your mind. I didn't want it to actually happen to me. He didn't want me; I could hear the words he spoke that day. If they were here to destroy Victoria they would leave again once she'd been taken care of. I'd have to stay away from them, fight everything in my heart that screamed for him.

"Bella…" Charlie startled me from deep in thought

"Are you okay with this? Honey, you can go visit your mom if it's too much." Charlie was worried and he had every right to be, I was worried too.

"No, no they're not here for me; they're probably just tying up some loose ends or something. I don't plan on seeing them, it'll be fine…I wanna go home." I tried to sound rational, but I wasn't a good liar, and I was an even worse actress.

"Um, okay, get dressed; I need to sign some papers at the nurses' station. You gonna be okay while I step out?" He looked at me like he didn't believe a word I'd said. I tried my best, it wasn't just Charlie I was trying to convince, I was trying to convince myself too.

"Yeah dad, I just wanna go home."

Charlie stepped out of the room. I slipped out of the hospital gown and put on my clothes. I paced for a few minutes; I didn't wanna wait in this room I just needed to get out of here. I walked to the door figuring I'd just meet Charlie at the nurse's station, but when I opened the door it was like the wind was knocked out of me. There they stood talking, Carlisle, Alice, and Edward. I wanted to move but I was frozen, I could feel my heart racing, Alice turned her head toward me.

"Bella…" her music like voice made me react.

I moved to the left with my back pressed against the wall, she didn't come any further. I couldn't escape; I couldn't pull my eyes away from him, the invisible arms were again reaching out, fighting with the part of me screaming that I should run. How long could this go on? Where was Charlie? As I prayed for some sort of rescue, I heard my name being called; I finally forced my head to turn left towards the source. It was Jake and behind him were Sam, Emily, and Embry. I didn't think twice.

"Jake!" I yelled as I took off running down the hall. I leapt into his arms clinging to him more tightly than ever before.

"Are you okay, did they hurt you?" He was angry.

"No, I just…I need to get out of here." Only part of it was true, I did need to get out of there. The lie was that they had hurt me. Intentionally or not, the pain in my chest raged, and my ears rang with his words, "I don't want you". I was using every bit of strength I had not to look back at them. Jake released his hold on me, Emily hugged me and Sam grabbed my shoulders and looked at me as if he were checking me over for any signs of damage. I turned from Sam to find Jake staring off in the direction that I knew better to look in. I intertwined my fingers with his and spoke into the skin of his arm.

"C'mon, please, take me home" I was fighting everything within me that had wanted Edward since the first time I saw him. I couldn't afford to let what my heart wanted take control…it was an impossible thought.

He bent down and kissed my hair and we turned to walk to the nurse's station. As I walked down the hall, Jacob holding me close, I could feel their stares burning through my back.


	5. Chapter 2 First Sight Edward POV

Chapter 2

First Sight

Edward POV

I called Carlisle on my way to hospital, it wasn't a long drive but even though I was doing twice the speed limit it seemed like it was taking forever. Carlisle was already there, of course the hospital administration had welcomed him back with open arms; they couldn't refuse a doctor with his credentials.

I walked to the visitors waiting area, Alice was already there, she'd no doubt seen what had happened. I wondered why she hadn't warned me about the outcome.

"Well that didn't go so well" she chimed.

"You could've warned me…" I hissed.

"I couldn't see her!" she cut me off, irritated. Alice's abilities had never been stumped like this before and with us still not knowing why she had only been able to catch glimpses of Bella, it was starting to get to her. "It wasn't until it was too late that I seen what was happening, I saw you just fine, but nothing from her until she turned around and seen you. The look on her face…it was awful…what was that?"

Carlisle walked up behind us. He looked concerned.

"I'm going to go in and see if she's okay, you two keep a low profile, Charlie's here." he turned to me, he was worried that I would try to go in, I just nodded that I understood as much as I wanted to rush to her side, I was the reason she was here and it was best to let him do this alone.

He turned and walked a few feet to the hospital room door and walked in. I shot Alice a glance.

"I can see her, she just woke up, I'll keep watching" she was as worried as I was about Bella's reaction.

I listened as Carlisle walked into the room. I could hear her heart beating faster than normal, but at the same pace it had in her room. I heard her breathing erratic, and knew she was crying. There was also something else. I couldn't figure it out, but something was different.

I continued to listen, it was painful. I loved her more than anything else in this world, she had given me so much that I didn't deserve, and this is what I did to her for loving me.

I heard Alice shift and shot her a glance.

"She's touching Carlisle's face" It was clear that this was difficult for Alice too, she loved Bella.

Alice gasped "She thinks she's crazy, that we're some figment of her imagination…what have we done?" I stared back at Alice's face. If it were possible for her to cry she would have been. What Alice could see, I could only hear, Bella thought she was crazy? How bad could these past months have been to make her think she had lost her mind? I had vowed to never let any harm come to her, it was my sole purpose in leaving, I had been so wrong about was best for her.

Suddenly Alice grabbed my arm.

"Charlie" she warned

We darted around the corner out of sight, and listened as Charlie walked into Bella's room, he began yelling for Carlisle to get away and get out. Carlisle came out of the room looking even more worried than before.

"Let's talk about this in my office," He didn't stop, he just kept walking down the hall in the direction of his office. I didn't want to leave, but Carlisle's expression told me I had to.

Carlisle shut the door to his office. He sat behind his desk. With his head resting between both hands, he stared down at the wood grain of the mahogany desk top.

"Carlisle…." His silence made me uneasy.

"She's a mess" he finally spoke. "We did this" he was ridden with guilt, but he was wrong.

"_We_, didn't do anything, this is my fault. None of you are to blame for this" I couldn't let them think they had done this, It was my idea to leave, Alice had fought me on the decision, Carlisle and Esmme had tried to reason with me, Jasper even offered to go stay with the Tanya and her family. I wouldn't hear any of it though, I was arrogant. I was sure that removing us from her life was the best solution and I was wrong.

"I can't get her face out of my head, she looked so confused… so hurt" Alice was still reeling from what she'd been able to see.

"So you were able to see her?" Carlisle was surprised as he questioned as Alice.

"Yeah, I was able to see her when everything happened in her bedroom, when she was going to touch you in her hospital room, I haven't lost her yet…why do you ask?" Alice also wasn't used to us questioning her ability.

"I don't know…maybe it's nothing…she seemed…different. Maybe I just never imagined seeing her in a state like that. I can put my finger on what it is that's not the same, I thought it might have something to do with why Alice can't see her at times, but that rules out that theory." I was surprised that Carlisle had noticed it too; I thought maybe I was overacting when I'd picked up on it.

"No, I thought so too. She's different somehow. I couldn't pin point it either" I wasn't sure what this meant, it'd been months since any of us had seen or been around her. Humans were different from our kind, time changed them, but it wasn't that she looked different, even though she did. She looked weak, like she was recovering from an illness, with the last traces of dark circles still slightly visible under her eyes.

"Our time away was much longer than what it seems to us, she's human, changing every second of every day" Carlisle rationalized about Bella.

"I just didn't expect her to react that way to seeing me. I'm not sure what I expected, but she acted as if she was preparing to defend herself, how could she think I was there to hurt her?" I wasn't sure what hurt worse…knowing that I had inflicted this pain she was in…or feeling like I was in some way her enemy now.

"You're going to have to let her come to you, Edward. We can't risk another situation like this." Carlisle was warning me. It would be impossible to stay away from her completely, I'd have to keep my distance and somehow prove to her that I was wrong for leaving and that the monster who had said those retched things to her that day in the woods, was only trying to give her the normal life that she deserved.

"I've got some things to finish up here, you two should head home" Carlisle rose from his seat and headed for the door. "I know that you love her and that has never wavered even once, Edward. You have to realize though that we know very little about what her life was like once we left" with that he walked out of the office.

"You don't plan on going home just yet do you?" Alice asked.

"No, I'm going back to her hospital room. I can't leave" she stared at me with disapproval.

"Edward, you heard what Carlisle said, we can't risk making a scene in a public" she argued

"There won't be a scene, because you're coming with me" I started for the office door.

"Oh no…I've seen all that I want to tonight, and I don't want to push her or Charlie any further. I have an agenda here too. She was my best friend Edward, I'm not giving up on her any more than you are" She was shaking her head and pointing her finger at me while she spoke.

"You're coming. You'll be able to help us steer clear of Charlie. Plus the more we observe now, might help us figure out why you're not able to see her at times" I wasn't taking no for an answer.

Reluctantly she followed me out of the office, and we headed for the waiting area in front of Bella's room.

We had only been outside Bella's room for a short while when Carlisle spotted us in the waiting area.

"Edward, you should really go home son…." Carlisle didn't get the chance to finish.

"Edward…" Alice broke in. We all turned to see the door of Bella's room open.

She stood there staring back at the three of us in a panic. I was having a hard time resisting what I wanted most; to rush to her side, take her in my arms and beg for forgiveness.

"Bella?" Alice finally spoke, but as she did Bella shifted away, her backed pressed to the wall. She never took her eyes off me and I stared back. It was clear that what Carlisle and I had both picked up on was right…there was something different about her. She had one hand wrapped around her waist as if she was physically trying to hold herself together, the rest of her body stiff, but her eyes…I could see the hurt in them. I was more aware of her than I had ever been in her presence, it was almost too much to withstand. I didn't just want her…I needed her.

I heard a male voice calling her name. I knew it wasn't Charlie, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her to see where it was coming from. She finally looked away, it seemed if I could hear the snap of the connection we had as we stood there.

"Jake!" she yelled, and took off running down the hall way into the arms of the boy. I knew him…the others too. I heard as they asked her if she was okay. While the two men and one woman hugged her and checked her over as if they had expected to find her hurt, it was Jacob Black that stared in our direction, making eye contact with me. I could read the thoughts of threat and warning.

_I love her…we all love her. We'll protect her with our own lives. Stay away from her…you've done enough damage…leave!_

Amongst the threats that already had me reeling to keep control of my anger were the images that confirmed that Jacob Black knew not only who he was threatening…but what he was threatening. I saw the images of boys changing physical form into wolves. I had to remind myself that we were in a public place, that even though Bella was now in the arms of several creatures that were more dangerous than myself and my family I couldn't react here in this hospital. Then came his thoughts that told me…she knew. She knew his secret…their secret. I stood there feeling helpless; all I could do was stare back. At that moment I couldn't imagine how things could get any worse until I saw her reach down and grab Jacob Black's hand and she asked him to take her home. His angry glares towards me broke as he bent his head down and kissed her head and I heard the silent promise he vowed.

_I'll never let him do what he did to you again _

I felt my body tense, and Carlisle's hand on my back, as I watched her walk away with them. It was silent until they were out of sight. Alice was the first to speak.

"It's them…I…I can't see her because of them. How…I don't understand?" Alice was puzzled.

"Werewolves…shape shifters…young and volatile" Everything had gone from bad to worse, there were so many questions and no answers.

"Edward, the treaty. You have to be mindful; we can't afford any kind of territorial war over her. Does she know?" Carlisle didn't need to be able to read minds to know that I loved Bella too much to stand by and watch as she put herself in danger. Young wolves are unpredictable and have hard time controlling their tempers.

"She knows, she knows everything" the more I thought about that dog touching her, the angrier I got.

"Why would she want anything to do with them? She's being reckless" Alice was now upset. "I can't see if she's in any danger when she's with them…there's nothing. If something happens to her we won't know"

"You both need to calm down. They know what we are, they wouldn't have risked coming here not knowing what they were up against if they didn't care for her too. I don't think she's in any imminent harm" Carlisle was trying to reassure us. "I think we should all head back to the house. We need to tell the rest of the family so we can avoid any confrontations if possible"

I knew it wasn't going to be easy coming back to Forks; I expected to have to fight for her forgiveness. But I felt like I was up against so much more now.


End file.
